Rejection rejected

Here is a real rejection of a rejection:

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful
consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept
your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your
department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an
unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied
and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept
all refusals.

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous
experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does
not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the
position of assistant professor in your department this August.
I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen